Divorce

Divorcing After 50: What You Need to Know About Gray Divorce

Key Takeaways

Divorce later in life, often called “gray divorce”, is more common than ever. The U.S. Census Bureau reports that the divorce rate has doubled for people over 55 in the past few decades. In California, where community property laws govern how assets are split, divorce after 50 raises a specific set of legal and financial questions.

Some couples reach this point after raising children and drifting apart. Others are responding to decades of slow-brewing conflict. No matter the circumstances, splitting up after 50 means untangling years of shared life, which often includes significant assets, complex retirement plans, and concerns about long-term stability.

Why Gray Divorce Is on the Rise

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Longer life expectancy plays a role, as many people in their 50s or 60s still have decades ahead. If a relationship has become unfulfilling, there’s more willingness now to make a change. Social attitudes have also shifted. Divorce after 50 in California no longer carries the same stigma, and many have greater financial independence than in past generations.

In some cases, retirement forces couples to spend more time together than they’re used to. Others reach a turning point when their children leave home and realize they’re living parallel lives.

Legal Landscape in California

California is a community property state, which means most assets and debts acquired during the marriage are considered shared—regardless of who earned or spent the money. That includes retirement accounts, pensions, and even real estate.

Understanding the difference between community and separate property is critical. For example, if one spouse bought a house before marriage but made mortgage payments during the marriage, the property may now be part community, part separate. That can make dividing it more complicated than it seems at first glance.

Spousal support also plays a major role in long-term marriages. California courts consider the length of the marriage, each person’s earning ability, age, health, and contributions to the household when determining support. In marriages lasting ten years or more, California courts retain jurisdiction over spousal support, meaning it can be reviewed or modified over time rather than having a set end date.

Dividing Retirement and Real Assets

One of the trickiest parts of a gray divorce is dividing retirement savings. If both spouses worked and saved for retirement, it may be a matter of splitting everything equitably. But if one spouse was the primary earner, the other may be entitled to a portion of pensions, 401(k)s, or IRAs—even if those accounts are only in one person’s name.

Dividing these accounts usually requires a court order called a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order), and timing matters. QDROs allow retirement accounts to be divided without triggering early withdrawal penalties as long as funds are rolled over or handled properly. If cashed out, taxes and penalties may still apply.

Real estate can also be a sticking point. One spouse may want to keep the home, while the other prefers to sell and divide the proceeds. Market value, maintenance costs, and capital gains taxes should all be considered before making a decision.

Healthcare and Insurance Considerations

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Many people over 50 rely on a spouse’s employer-based health insurance. After divorce, that coverage often ends. COBRA may provide temporary access to the same plan, but it’s costly. If you’re under 65, you’ll need to explore private coverage or the healthcare marketplace until you become eligible for Medicare.

And if you’re already on Medicare, keep in mind it doesn’t cover everything. You may need to look into supplemental policies, especially as medical needs increase with age. Eligibility for Medicare is not affected by divorce, and if you didn’t work enough to qualify on your own, you may still qualify based on your ex-spouse’s work record if the marriage lasted at least ten years.

Starting over at 50 isn’t easy—but it can be secure.

We help Californians facing gray divorce navigate asset division, retirement planning, and long-term stability with clarity and care.

Updating Your Estate Plan

Divorce requires updating your estate documents. This includes:

  • Changing beneficiaries on retirement accounts and life insurance
  • Revising your will and any trusts
  • Appointing new powers of attorney and healthcare proxies

Failing to update these documents could mean your ex-spouse unintentionally retains decision-making authority—or inherits assets you didn’t intend them to.

Social Security and Gray Divorce

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If your marriage lasted at least ten years and you’re currently unmarried, you may be able to collect Social Security benefits based on your ex-spouse’s work record. This doesn’t reduce their benefit and can be a valuable source of income, especially if your own work history is shorter or lower-paying.

You can begin collecting as early as age 62, though waiting until full retirement age generally results in higher monthly payments.

Protecting Your Future in a Gray Divorce

Divorcing after 50 in California often means untangling decades of shared finances, assets, and expectations. Retirement plans shift, housing needs change, and the emotional toll can run deep. But with the right legal strategy, a new chapter is possible, one built on stability, autonomy, and peace of mind.

At Whiting, Ross, Abel & Campbell, we help clients navigate the unique challenges of gray divorce, from dividing long-held assets to negotiating spousal support and protecting retirement savings. We provide straightforward advice and strong advocacy at every turn.

If you’re facing divorce later in life, don’t go it alone. Contact our team today to secure your future and move forward with confidence.

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Ask Our Expert Attorneys

Divorcing later in life can disrupt retirement plans, reduce household income, and result in the division of long-held assets, making it harder to recover financially.

Courts consider factors like the length of the marriage, each spouse’s income and earning capacity, age, health, and standard of living; in marriages over 10 years, support may be ongoing.

You won’t lose all of it, but any portion earned during the marriage is generally considered community property and may be divided between both spouses.

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